Getting through divorce is tough. You must deal with issues like property division and spousal support, which can be highly conflictual. But, if you’re parent, then your primary concern is probably your children’s safety and well-being. That, too, can be impacted by divorce, as the life and stability that your children once knew can be thrown into uncertainty and chaos. Therefore, as you navigate your divorce, it’s imperative to find effective strategies for parenting your children and getting them through this difficult time in their life.
That’s easier said than done, of course, as no two children are the same and there’s no cookie cutter approach to raising your children during a divorce. That said, there are some general strategies that you can implement that will hopefully make the process easier for you and your kids.
Tips for parenting your children during divorce
There are several ways to approach parenting during your divorce. Here are a few tips that we hope will help protect your children’s well0being throughout your marriage dissolution:
- Allow them to feel their emotions: Losing their parents’ marriage is going to create a lot of grief and emotional upheaval. Although it may be painful to see, don’t force your children to suppress their feelings. And don’t expect your children to act in a way that makes you feel better. They’re dealing with their own internal struggles, which needs to be respected. You can help your children cope with their emotions by listening to them and encouraging them to talk to you and ask questions. If you need additional help, consider seeking out therapy for yourself and your children.
- Don’t bash your children’s other parent: Regardless of what’s happened in your marriage, your children probably still love their other parent. And they need affection and support from their other parent. Bashing the other parent in front of your children is just going to disrupt their perception of the world and cut them off from that love and support that they need. If you feel the need to vent your frustrations, do so to family members, friends, or your therapist.
- Present a united front: Even in a time of uncertainty, your children need stability. Despite the changes that your family is facing, you can provide some stability by presenting a united front on key parenting issues. Talk through how you and your spouse want to handle issues like discipline and house rules so that you’re providing your child with as much consistency as possible.
- Be reassuring: Children internalize a lot of events that happen to them. Therefore, they might think that they contributed to your divorce or could’ve prevented it if they had acted differently. This creates unwarranted shame and guilt. You can curtail these thoughts and feelings by reassuring your children that they haven’t done anything wrong, they’re not to blame, they’re still loved by both parents, and that everyone will find a new normal.
Competently navigate your divorce
It can be difficult to keep an eye on your divorce proceedings while managing the turmoil you’re experiencing at home. But don’t let that derail the arguments you need to make in your divorce case. If you do, then you’ll be in a less favorable position post-divorce, and one that you likely hoped to avoid.
By developing a strong divorce legal strategy, you can give yourself peace of mind heading into your marriage dissolution. This, in turn, can make it easier to address the challenges you’re facing at home. So, don’t delay in crafting your divorce legal strategy. Get to work now so that you can protect your interests and your children as much as possible.